I'm okay/ No I'm not

I'm okay/ No I'm not 

We all say that we want to hear the truth. That the truth will set us free, but in the harsh reality. The truth can be an ugly, terrifying monster that lurks in the darkness. Just waiting to pounce on you and unleash all the pain that feels like it's riping your beating heart from your chest and killing you, over and over. 

Let's be honest. Your loved ones don't want to hear, "No! I'm not okay." or "I don't think I take anymore!" The people in our lives can only handle hearing, "I'm good, I'm fine, I'm okay or at the very least, I'm just tired". Not cause they don't care, but more of they don't know what to do, to make it all better.

I don't know about you, but I hate crying. Why? Cause it makes me feel weak. So when I do, I usually cry when I'm alone and no one can see or hear me. That's not to say that there haven't been times someone has witnessed me breaking down into gut wrenching tears streaming down my face. However in those moments, it was more of not being able to handle the pain I'd been carrying, for soooo long, any longer. Like a dam breaking and finally crushing under the pressure.

Perhaps my fear of showing my pain is really a great fear of being misunderstood. My voice not being heard, by the ones I love. My truth getting lost in how I'm perceived. The perception of me being so strong, that nothing can destroy me vanquished by some trifling tears. That my pain will equate to having low self-esteem or self worth in their eyes. 

That fear can be so crippling, so paralyzing that we're actively choosing to bottle up those feelings, medicating, whether by a professional or by ourselves with other means. All the while, living our lives with a soul crushing battle raging on inside. We slap on the most genuine smile we can muster and lie to the world, our loved ones and ourselves with two simple words."I'm fine." When in all honesty, we're anything but. 

My Biggest Fear

My Biggest Fear

As of late I've been having a slightly recurring dream. I say slightly, because it's not always the same. It just possesses the same middle. Anyway... the part I recall is, it's my wedding day, but I have no excitement or jitters about getting ready. I'm busy doing other things like writing, exercising and catching up on my dvr. The wedding coordinator comes in my room, totally confused as to why I haven't even begun to get ready for the ceremony. She asks me if I'm going to get my dress on anytime soon. I shurg my shoulders and respond with an indifferent 'sure'. The beginning and ending is too fuzzy to remember, but that part is always the same.

I've been trying to figure out what it means. The only thing I can think of is that it must be tied to my biggest fear. Now most of you would probably venture a guess that it must mean I have a fear of commitment, but nope. For me, that's not the case. I have no problem with loving, being loyal and committing myself to the man I truly love, trust and respect. Nor do I frown upon marriage. 

I used to think that my biggest fear was growing old, alone. Though that fear hasn't driven me into a relationship that's not right for me. I'd much rather be alone, than miserable. I did some meditating and found that my biggest fear is loosing myself, again. I say again because I'm naturally a giver, the caretaker. I'm the woman who puts her loved ones wants and needs ahead of her own. However when it comes time to taking care of myself, I'm exhausted from making sure everyone else is good. 

After my break up from a long term relationship, I felt loss. I had all this romantic loving and giving energy, but no mate to bestow it upon. It took awhile to discover and ask 'Hey! What do you want?' I began to get to know and find me. Reacquainting myself with writing. Thinking of other ideas I wish to accomplish. Though a part of myself misses being in a committed relationship, the other part of me is terrified of putting myself on the back burner and loosing myself again. 

Living in the Now

Living in the Now 

It was Lao Tzu who quoted,

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present."

While I'm sure a great deal of us, perusing on social media has come across this quote more than once. Maybe you've even commented on it, or at the very least hit the like or +1 button to show your agreeance. I know I have. But it also led me to wonder; how many of us are living by that principle? 

Now don't get me wrong. I know it's normal and practically imperative to think of the future. Especially once you've reached a certain age. Otherwise how else would you know where you're going, or where you'd like to be in say five to ten years from now? But there are some of us, who obsess over every little detail of the immediate future. Planning practically every minute of the day. That's no way to live, cause it just equates to constantly checking things off your 'to do list'. I ask you, where's the joy in that? Then that frustration of not getting everything done on your list for that day. Putting you behind schedule. Anxiety starting to set in and dictating your mood till you get caught up.  

Then there are those who constantly live in the past. Always reliving past pain or mistakes made. Everyone has good and bad memories. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with holding on to those memories, it's anything but healthy to let them rule your life. Cherish your good memories and as for the bad... well let those be your lessons. We've all had horrible things done to us and have done things that we're not so proud of. But you have to realize, those are things that has happened or things that you've done. They're not who you are. You and you alone have the power to be who you are and live how you'd like to live. 

So don't forget who you were. Make moves to get where you'd like to be. More than anything take the time to get to know and appreciate the beauty of who you are now. Otherwise it could be a missed opportunity to meet the most extraordinary person, in your life.

YOU! 

You're Pretty... for a Dark Girl

You're Pretty... for a Dark Girl.

Throughout my life, I've received compliments from men of different races. However there is one underhanded compliment that I've received and sadly from men of my own race. 

"You're pretty... for a dark girl"

I would venture a guess from experience that majority, if not all my fellow, beautiful dark sistas have been thrown this so-called compliment. As if we should take it like it's the best affirmation of our beauty, we will ever get. News flash! It's anything, but a compliment! Why not just say "I think you're pretty" and that be the end of the statement. Adding the "for a dark girl" is a slap in the face. 

Now I know the whole team light skinned vs team dark skin has been around since... forever. Our race being divided, as if one complexion is superior over the other. I can remember riding the bus in middle school on field trips and the girls cackling about who their "famous future husband" was going to be. Around that time Al B. Sure, Babyface, Prince, L.L. Cool J, El DeBarge and Allen Payne (the light skinned brotha from New Jack City) were the top contenders. Girls screaming who their pick was. Saying his name multiple times staking their claim. Boys had their version of the same game. Picking between Vanity, Appolonia, Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson. Dark skinned women and men were left out, as if we were the sooty stains of our race. 

Red bone, caramel, chocolate, dark chocolate. We are all beautiful and we are all in the same struggle. 

I thank my parents and my family for not making my complexion an issue. Thus teaching me that my beauty doesn't solely lie in the tone of my skin. I love the skin I'm in and apparently so does the sun. The sun loves it so much that it kisses it multiple times, just enriching my tone. So why can't my beautiful brothas love it, just as unconditionally? 

A Letter From The Friendzone

Dear World,

It gets frustrating when most people think only guys get friendzoned. Guess what? Great girls, awesome wife material get friendzoned all the time. We know how it feels to be absolutely, out of our mind, loyal till death, in love with a guy. No matter how great we are, the guy seems to only see everything he ever wanted in a woman with anyone, except you. You can't understand why. You're always the one that's there for him, you two talk bout any and everything, you're the best of friends. His biggest cheerleader and see things in him that nobody else does. You can spend hours on the phone and still miss him once you hang up. Just when you think "Finally, he feels the same!" he meets someone else. Leaving you to feel like the butt of life's joke. 

No matter how smart, funny or how high your self-esteem is. Somehow he's the one you don't care how stupid you look to others on the outside looking in. Why? Cause he's the one whose had your heart from the start. You only want him to be happy, even if it's not with you. You only want the best for him. If only he'd realize that maybe, just maybe... you are the best for him. 

Yours truly,   

Another friendzoned casualty 

Why Am I Single?

Why Am I Single?

Why am I single? A question that does get thrown in my direction (thank goodness not excessively). Cause it's a question that I don't really have an answer for. Now this might sound like I'm boasting on myself, but at times there's nothing wrong with stating how awesome you are, so here it is. I'm a Damn good woman and I don't know why I'm single! Some may say that I'm too picky. They're welcome to their opinion but, I respectfully disagree. Do I have standards? Absolutely! Not materialistic standards, but intellectual and moral standards to say the least. I try not to let the question bother me. At least not often, cause I know my self worth isn't tied to any man. Buuuttttt... it would be nice to have a man that I'm head over heels for, who would love nothing more than to have me as his partner.

Unfortunately for a woman my age, having never been married and with a child; is viewed as what? Complicated! Seriously?!

So let me get this straight. An intelligent, gainfully employed, mature, no "baby daddy" drama, no daddy issues, loyal woman who can cook is complicated? Or is that a pathetically disguised "it'll be too Damn hard to run game on her" excuse?

Sometimes it feels like I'm past the expiration date on my love life. Don't get me wrong. I can still turn a head or two. I get "approached" with lines that may bring a smile to my face, yet somehow in the guys mind is supposed to magically part my thighs. I mean Damn! Does my age exclude me from gentlemanly courtship? As if I'm an old stale box of Cracker Jack with the prize long gone. 

I deserve to have a man that can look at me with forever in his eyes and with honorable intentions. A man that can remember why he loves me, when I'm behaving like a perfect storm. A man that see the beauty of my soul. Knowing my cons are far less than my pros. Without any doubts know that even when my opinion differs from his at times, my loyalty is never wavering. 

So if I'm single for knowing what I deserve and not settling for less. Single is what I will stay. 

Would You Date You?

Would You Date You?

It's funny how many dating and relationship articles and books are out there. Think about it. It's almost impossible to avoid coming across a magazine, book or social media link to an article, telling you the do's and don't's of romance. Now I know what you're thinking. "Aren't you doing the same thing?" Well... I guess I am. Oops!

But my question is. Among all the do's and don't's why haven't I seen the advice of get to know yourself, first? So many of us go from relationship to relationship with barely a break in between. Leaving bits and pieces of ourselves with the last beau. Picking away at ourselves, trying to fill a void with someone, anyone. When the void can only be filled by yourself. Take the time to rediscover yourself. Learn who you are by yourself. 

Now trust me. I know it can be scary, especially if you're used to always being in a relationship. But if you're constantly finding yourself in a string of unsuccessful relationships. Don't you think trying something different is in order? I mean Hey! Performing the same action over and over, but expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity. So how bout you regain your sanity. If you're willing to do for others, why not do something not only helpful, but healthy for yourself? 

So you're probably wondering, where do you start. For myself I started with the realization that being alone and being lonely are two very different things. There are so many things you can do by yourself, but most are terrified to try. Mainly because they're afraid how others would view them. For instance. I've gone to movies alone. Sat at a restaurant and ate dinner alone. I've even gone to a bar by myself. Not in attempt to meet anyone, but to enjoy myself. There's no rule that says you have to be coupled up to have a good time. I have to admit the first few times felt weird and I felt people were possibly judging me, but I figured to Hell with them. I'm doing this for me. Besides, if I don't like or wouldn't date myself, how could I expect anyone else to want too? If you do find yourself getting lonely. Well this is where your friends can help with that. 

Being single has given me the opportunity to find out who I am, heal and unpack some of my baggage. True, everyone will always have some baggage, but it's up to you how much you wanna carry. It's not fair to expect someone else to carry your baggage. So take some time. Cleanse your soul and find yourself, before you give the broken pieces of what's left of you to someone else. 

Thank You... Sincerely,

Thank You... Sincerely,

   Dear Pleasant Customer,

As a person who has worked in retail for many, many oh yeah, many years. I, like all my fellow retail workers have come into contact with a slew of people and their "lovely" personalities.

On behalf of the retail workforce, I'd like to extend a sincere thank you to the pleasant customers. There's aaa llllooootttt to thank you for so try to stay with me.

First of all we'd like to thank you, for entering the store and returning the smile we've bestowed onto you. Also for answering our extremely simple question of "May I help you?" with an equally simple "Yes, please" or a "No, thank you".  Not a snotty and dismissive "I'm just looking" that's not necessary or appreciated. We're not blind, deaf or dumb! Clearly you're looking, plus that wasn't the question! So again, thank you for entering with a good attitude.

Second, thank you for not being the customer treating us like we're your slave. Newsflash! We're here to try to ensure that everyone who shops have a pleasant shopping experience, not just you. We're not here to kiss your ass!

Thank you dearly, for not being that customer that can't control their child/children. We appreciate you knowing your child's/children's nap or eating schedule and not choosing to bring them shopping, assaulting everyone with their yelling, screaming and crying the whole time. All the while ignoring them. Cause the last thing anyone wants to hear, is your whiny lil brat. Also the store is not their playground!

Thank you for having common sense and not being the customer who sees us in a uniform, wearing a name badge, stocking merchandise or using a pallet jack and still ask "Do you work here?" You have no idea how often we get asked such an asinine question. Also (and this is especially on behalf of my melanin sufficient retail workers) thank you for not assuming that only the white employees will have correct information. 

Thank you for realizing that 98% of the time, a medium shirt is a medium shirt. Regardless of the color! So there's no need to unfold all of them. Cause guess what? We have plenty to do, without having to clean up behind you. 

Lastly, thank you for understanding that sometimes the answer is going to be no. Realizing that we do try to accommodate your needs, but sometimes you can't always get what you want. Also knowing that throwing a tantrum, isn't going to get you what you want.  

So truly, from the bottom of our hearts. Thank you for being so pleasant and such a joy to help. You may very well, be saving us from killing the ones who drive us crazy.

Sincerely,        

Your local retail worker

Can you forgive... yourself?

Can you forgive... yourself?

Of all the many quotes we've all seen about forgiveness. One thing rings true. Forgiving someone is more for you, than the one who has wronged you. But what do you do, when you're having a difficult time forgiving yourself?

I, just like everyone else have been hurt or wronged by someone close to my heart. I can be quite forgiving... maybe not right away, but eventually forgiveness does come. Now, don't misunderstand me. Not by any means do I consider myself to be perfect. I've made my share of mistakes and have hurt people as well. Certainly not with any malicious intentions, cause I'm not that type of evil, toxic person. I own up to my mistakes and apologize for them. Eventhough the person I've wronged may have forgiven me. I always have the hardest time, forgiving myself. I'm talking the dramatic "I have dishonored my family, ready to fall on my sword" hard time. Go ahead, it's okay to laugh at it, I did.  

Majority of my life, I've been there for other's more than myself. Family, friends, boyfriends and even work. I'm what you would call a giver or caretaker. The one who people are comfortable to talk to and depend on. Pretty much anything I could do to help or be there for someone, I was. Even if I didn't necessarily want to do it, I did it anyway. I found it disappointing and I would kinda beat myself up when I couldn't. So hurting someone I loved or cared for, is devastating to me. 

I've done soul searching to try to figure this out and I come up with bupkis. I view it as one of my worst flaws. Is it something I can change? Perhaps. Only time and cognizant practice will tell. Till then, all I can do is learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat them.

What Did I Say? Part II (Can we get on the same page?)

What Did I Say? Part II (Can we get on the same page?)

So I was watching "Being MaryJane". Well first off, let me clarify that I watch television strictly for entertainment purposes as it was meant for and not as a blueprint for making life decisions. Unfortunately like some folks tend to do. Anyway... I was watching "Being MaryJane" and I was introduced to the term "cutty buddy". I got the gist of what a "cutty buddy" is, but being the inquisitive lady that I am, I had to find out for sure what the Hell that was. So I did what any normal person with common sense would do. I googled it. Just as I suspected the first result was for the urban dictionary site. For anyone that's in the same boat with me and doesn't keep up with the ever changing "urban" vernacular. A cutty buddy is a person you only have sex with. No dating, no relationship. Just strictly sex. Just like any other dictionary site, synonyms are provided. I was unpleasantly surprised to see friend among the synonyms for cutty buddy. My initial reaction was "Are you kidding me!? How the Hell is friend listed here!?" Then I wondered "When did the meaning of friend change to this?! Have I been living under a rock?!" Okay, true I'm more of a homebody and I don't get out much. Plus I'm a bit selective of who I spend my time with. On top of that, I don't make it a priority to keep up with the current slang, but geez!  Finally it dawned on me, the breakdown in communication I've been having lately. 

So I've had attempts of connecting with a few men on G+ and I've been upfront and honest on what my intentions are. Which in my case, is a friendship and in turn they agree... at first. I would say perhaps after a few exchanges of the typical getting to know you questions, here they come with the more sexual, risque questions. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm no prude and I'm comfortable with talking bout sex, but I'm not trying to send any mixed signals. Learning that the term friend has taken on this new meaning, I now have a better understanding in the breakdown in communication. I've been using the term friend in it's traditional meaning. Not in this unfortunate, twisted version that it's morphed into. 

Great! Now I have to clarify when I say "Sure we can be friends", that I mean in the original meaning of the word. Not "Sure, I'd be happy to let you smash!" No I don't apologize for not willing to be some dude's cutty buddy, side piece, booty call or fuck buddy! I deserve more than that! 

What Did I Say?

What Did I Say?

If there was ever a question of, does God have a sense of humor? The answer is absolfuckinglutely! Why would He or She (whatever your view is) create two genders of the same species, that need each other, yet have such a hard time communicating? Now, I didn't say it was a funny joke, but the situation is a joke. 

We've all heard the phrase; men are from Mars, women are from Venus. That seems to be the running excuse for why there's this prominent communication problem. If I were to venture a guess, I would say that age old reason would account for maybe, hmm... 30% of the problem, perhaps 65% is lack of honesty and the other 5% for purposely being encrypted.  

I understand everybody lies. Some lie or "bend the truth" to spare someone's feeling. On the other end of that spectrum, some lie just for the sake of lying. But have we've become so arrogant and fear rejection so greatly that a large amount of us lie to get what we want; regardless of how it could possibly damage another person? 

As of late, it seems I've been having a breakdown in communicating with a few individuals. I make it a habit to be upfront and honest about my intentions, if you will. Also my position and opinion on different subjects. With that being said, I get that not all women are clear about what they want. Hell! Not all people are clear about what they want. No matter how rare, I express that I'm being completely honest and as transparent as I can be. There's no need for interpretation! There's no encrypted message, no guessing games! So when I say "I'm not trying to be with anyone, right now". I mean just that! It doesn't need to be translated or interpreted to mean "Hell nah! I don't want to be with you!" I'm not rejecting you as a person, cause I don't think you're not good enough. I'm trying to heal and I feel it would be irresponsible to start a new relationship when I'm not emotionally ready. Unfortunately, it hasn't been perceived as such.

Now I'm sure most men have been trying to decipher "Venusian" or "the language of women". Just like women have been plagued with overthinking, trying to translate "Martian" or "the language of men". What happened to communicating like the humans that we are? Nowadays we have to speak a number of languages. I myself, am "multilingual". Because I'm female I'm fluent in "Venusian" and "passive aggressive". Thanks to my family, I'm also quite fluent in "sarcasm". I'm slowly, but surely learning "Martian" and Italian. I occasionally get a whiff, but can't seem to appreciate "bitchassanese" though.

My point is. If we all began to make it a habit to say what we mean and mean what we say. Perhaps there would be less confusion. 

What the Hell Happened to Dating?

What the Hell Happened to Dating?

In this day and age, it seems it's getting more difficult to find a mate. I like I'm sure a great deal of you wonder, "why is it so damn hard to find someone who wants to be with me and only me?" Am I right? 

Over the years, I've had questions pop in my mind that don't necessarily get answered. For me it seems like the answer to most of my questions is; the majority of us are not comfortable allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and be honest about what we truly want. We fear rejection. We've all been hurt a time or two... or more and with each instance of getting hurt, we become more guarded and jaded. We build up walls that we believe will protect us. Trust me! I recently had my heart ripped out and destroyed, by a man I was head over heels, more sure than I know 2+2=4, in love with and not only am I trying to heal and bounce back from it. I'm absolutely terrified to let someone else in! 

I often think about how patience has become a lost virtue. It's understandable with the world growing into a more rapid state, everyday. We're used to getting practically everything in a blink of an eye. We've been conditioned to not have to wait or put much effort into getting what we desire. It seems that way of thinking has gone into "dating" or finding love. Not many are willing to put in the effort or build a solid foundation it takes to have a lasting relationship. What happened to courting a lady or genuinely getting to know someone? Or not giving up on someone you claim to love, when you hit a rough patch? Love isn't easy, lust is and it seems a great deal are settling for lust. 

Men claim they want a lady, but a lady isn't easily won. Most give up pursuit, when she doesn't yield after a few compliments. Men are supposed to be natural hunters. A dedicated "hunter" finds no joy in a prey that's easily attained. What happened to having stimulating conversation, that doesn't involve talking about sex? When did getting to know how well a person gives head, become more important than getting to know what's inside their head? When did the measurements of my body exceed the importance of the measurements of my being a good person? Now I'm sure you're probably feel like I'm attacking the guys and perhaps I am a bit. However I don't place all the blame on men. Women have just as an equal part in this joke we call "dating". 

Ladies! A great deal of women make it difficult for men to express interest, without being called "thirsty". Also, we have got to stop settling for nonsense! Not all of us are guilty of this, just like not all men are guilty of being "dogs" or "playas". However the bad has grown more prevalent than the good. 

Look. I get that men are visual creatures and we want very much to be desired. However not all attention is good attention. It's all in the presentation. How do expect to find a man who wants to be with you long term, if you're presenting yourself like a woman displayed in a window working in Amsterdam's Red Light District? Being a woman is your gender, being a lady is a choice. Okay! I get it! You're proud of your body and that's great! But don't complain about the comments guys leave on the postings YOU put up, of yourself damn near naked. Or how those same guys just wanna fuck you or make you a side piece. Then bitch about how they're all the same. No! Your presentation is saying "My tits, pussy and ass is all I have to bring to the table". In the words of Dave Chappelle "You may not be a whore, but you're wearing a whore's uniform." 

I believe you can determine a person's intent, by the questions they ask. For example if majority of a guys questions posed to me center around sex and only sex. I can pretty much tell, that's all he wants from me. Sometimes we miss the signs, cause we're so into what we want. I like everyone else have made mistakes. I had to learn that cast in the right light, even a cubic zirconia can look like a diamond. 

Eventhough I have yet to find my Warrior King, I believe there are still some good men out there. Yes, it can be exhausting and at times I just wanna give up on the ideal of finding a mate. But I need a man! Not to complete me, but to compliment my life. 

Let's be honest. Whether it's for love, acceptance or just simply attention. We're all thirsty. But the first step in getting what we truly want is to be honest. Yes! It's easier said than done, but eventually the truth will come out. Also realize something like love is not easily won. It takes patience and you have to be willing to do the work. 

It's Okay!

It's Okay!

I was watching "Failure to Launch" (What a surprise! A woman watching a "chick flick") Lol! Though it's not by any means my favorite genre of movies, I do occasionally indulge. There was a scene where there's a black couple watching the main couple makeup. The black man made the statement "I don't usually like reality shows, but this is so emotional!" All the while with tears in his eyes. His companion in turn looked at him and said "Are those tears in your eyes?" Basically ridiculing him for showing heartfelt emotion. It made me think... why is it soooo frowned upon, damn near taboo for men to cry or show an emotional, other than joy or anger? 

Think about it. When a man displays an emotion that's heartfelt or romantic, some if not most of society automatically thinks... "Oh, he must be gay", "Geeze! Someone's being a drama queen!" or "You need to man up!" My question is why displaying emotion, synonymous to being female or having more estrogenic qualities? Are men not human?

 In complete and total honesty, I myself hate crying. Eventhough I'm a woman, so somehow my gender grants me this special pass to do so and not be judged or ridiculed as harshly. It's a double standard that needs to stop. We're ingraining in our sons that crying is wrong. That crying makes you less than a man. Basically we're teaching that men need to be less than human. Yet women are looking for a man with sensitivity? Really?!

So let me get this straight. 

1. Men aren't accepted as being "manly" if they show emotion other than joy or anger.

2. We ladies, want a man to understand and empathize with our feelings. (Nevermind in order to empathize, you may have to experience those feelings)

3. So basically we want a gentleman/thug, that doesn't show a range of emotion, but has to understand ours.

All righty then! Are you men ready to sign up?

Do Wounds Heal?

Do Wounds Heal?

They say time heals all wounds. But is that true? Or is that something we tell our friends, loved ones & ourselves to make them & us feel better?

Yes! Some wounds do heal, but what about the deep ones? Like betrayal, losing someone close or unrequited love? Can time heal those? Also, how much time does it take? 

Do we really heal? Or do those wounds just scab over? Leaving a hideous scar on our souls, all the while we're hemorrhaging internally, dying a slow death. Putting on a fake smile to the world, cause no one could truly understand what we're feeling. Just thinking about what scarred you, bringing tears to your eyes. That lump forming in your throat. All those feelings come rushing back, crashing over you like a tidal wave. Feeling like you're pushed back to square one, to "get over it" once again.

Most would say "Well, you're making the choice to wallow in that pain". Maybe. It's possible. Or am I being honest about what we're afraid to admit? It's true some of us are much stronger than others & better at masking our pain. But even the strongest person can only be so fucking strong for so fucking long. We all eventually break down, lose faith, question who we are & cry out "How much more shit do I have to take?" The last thing you wanna fucking hear is "Time heals all wounds". 

No! What'll happen is you'll internalize that pain & try not to think about it anymore. Another deep gash in the amour. Hoping this one isn't the one that kills you.