The Dreaded S Word

The Dreaded S Word

I'm sure you're wondering what is this dreaded s word I speak of. Well, before I reveal what it is. Let me pose a question to you. 

Is chivalry dead?

I wouldn't say it's completely, okay doctor, call the time of death, take 'em to the morgue & don the toe tag, dead. But it is on life support and who has put it in that state? Women. Now I know some of you will get pissed, but if you really take a moment after your pissitvity has subsided, perhaps you'll see my point. So stay with me, while I state my case. 

Women have always been intelligent, strong, graceful creatures. Over the years, a great deal of us have seemed to ditch that demure side and gone full on Shieldmaiden. Donning on her armour daily and taking on whatever comes her way. I ain't mad at cha, cause I'm right there with ya. However, I'm speaking bout the women who have forgotten their softer, demure side. Sure we are strong, but do we always have to be? When did we get to the point, feeling like we have to go into full battle mode on every little thing? When we were fighting and still fighting to be equal to a man, did it somehow change us into a man? This brings me to reveal the dreaded s word, if you haven't already guessed what it is. The word is... (drum roll, please) submission! Yes that's right, submission. 

Why is that the dreaded word? Is it the way it rolls off the tongue, that makes most of us women cringe? Making our faces scrunch up and getting our pretty panties in a bunch. Or maybe, just maybe we've chosen to see it as being negative. Is it that we associate that word with being weak and helpless? Of course we as women are far from it. Or perhaps some of us has made the word submission synonymous with slavery. Though I can understand how it can be taken in that context. Well for those who do feel that way, I respectfully ask you to open your mind.

When you're in a relationship, whether it's new or you've been together for years. I ask you. What's wrong with being submissive to your man? I don't mean being a doormat. No, that's not what being submissive means. Being submissive means showing your man you appreciate him. When he comes home, give him a moment to decompress. Don't bombard him with the craziness of your day. How would you like it, if the tables were turned. You'd feel like "Really? Can I get a moment? Hello to you too." After he's gotten more relaxed, ask him bout his day. Maybe give him a back rub as you listen to him. Okay, now let's move on to dinner or any meal. Fixing your man a plate, doesn't make you a maid. It's a way of showing love. So chill with the "Yo hands ain't broken. Fix yo own plate." 

Another way we as ladies can be submissive and get chivalry off of life support is, allow the men to be men. Stop emasculating him! If he wants to open the door for you, let him. He's not saying that you're helpless, by opening the door for you. He's being a gentleman, ladies! When he offers to take care of something for you, let him do it and do it his way. Just cause he does it differently than you, doesn't make it wrong. 

It takes a stronger woman to be submissive, cause it shows trust. Trust that you have in the man you've chosen to be with. Trust that you know your man wouldn't steer you wrong or put you in harms way. So the question is; are you strong enough to be submissive?

Does size matter? (Not what you're thinking)

Does size matter? (Not what you're thinking)

I remember years ago, a best friend of mine was over to my place for dinner and enjoying my company and posed a question to me. Does the size of the ring really matters? I immediately responded "No it doesn't. At least not to me." I don't think it matters to most women than most would imagine it does. Oddly he seemed surprised at my answer. I wasn't sure if it was cause he thought I wasn't being honest, though I never gave him a reason to think I would be anything less than honest with him. Or if he genuinely believed all women cared bout the size of the diamond or carat amount in her engagement/wedding ring. Seeing the utter amazement and disbelief in his eyes, not to mention his dropped jaw, I had to break it down for him. So I told him of the beautifully romantic story of my parents, who have been married for thirty-eight years.

My father was never a rich man, money wise, but he is wealthy in heart and soul. He's smart, well spoken, a gentleman and a free thinker. I'm proud to say those awesome traits were passed on to me. My mother possess those same traits so it would've been a tragic phenomenon if I wasn't born with them, or at least developed them at an early age. Ahh, common sense! It's like the nectar of the Gods. Oh, damn! Let me get back to my story. So my father was a far cry from being rich, money wise, but he wanted to propose to my mother. He couldn't afford a ring, so he purchase a sterling silver necklace that had small heart pendant and in the heart housed a tiny chip of a diamond in it. Of course my mother said yes, cause she loved the man he is. It had nothing to do with the size of any diamond. After telling that story to my friend, I could see his eyes slightly soften. Yet he still didn't seem totally convinced. So I elaborated my view on the subject. I told him for me it wouldn't matter if the ring didn't have a diamond at all. Immediately I saw his eyes trying to picture a solitaire style ring sans the diamond. He asked "What do you mean no diamond?" I told him "For me, it could be just a simple band. Cause I'm more into what the ring represent. It symbolizes that a man really saw who I am and doesn't want to live his life without me by his side. That's far more precious than any diamond in the world." 

Oddly after that romantically, truthful, heartfelt answer, my friend still had some questions. Wasn't my parents story not proof enough? Hell, wasn't my answer not proof enough? I listened to his question, cause hey, I'm all for answering questions to the best of my ability. What question could he possibly have anyway? He asked me. "Well when you women see the ring and it's huge don't y'all think, Man, he really loves me?" I couldn't refute that. I mean let's be honest ladies, if your man presented you with a two carat or more ring, you're gonna think "Goddamn! This man loves the shit outta me! Hell yeah, I got that two carat pussy!" It's cool. gone ahead and admit it. I won't tell anybody. All I could say is "Yes a woman would naturally get excited, but you can't measure a man's love by the size of the diamond he presents to you." Even after that, he still had a follow up question. At this point, I was starting to question my eloquent, prowess in presenting my point of view.

"Wouldn't a woman think, if a man gave her a ring with a little diamond means he doesn't really love me or thinks we won't work out, so why waste the money?" As I had been, I spoke the truth and I retorted with "Little ring just simply means little money, but it doesn't mean little love." That seem to sink into his cerebellum, so I took the opportunity to honestly add. "I'd rather he use the money on a house, investing in his business or to the start of owning his own business." With that finish I finally slayed the beast of doubt.

Sex and The Middle Aged Woman

Sex and The Middle Aged Woman

So this morning as I was getting ready for work, I had a wondering enter my mind. Is there a coalition with a woman's age and her sexual peak? If it is, what's the reason behind it? Especially when majority of the time, women mature at a more rapid rate than men. I have a few theories and here they are. You may agree with them you may not. This is simple my opinion, from what I've seen in my life thus far.

1. Most women on average, tend to have children in their early twenties. Which means by the time they've reached their late thirties, early forties; their kid(s) ideally would be established and on their own. Which in turn could equate to.

     A. Less worrying about taking care of the kid(s).

     B. Perhaps more sleep.

     C. More time for themselves.

2. At least by the time a woman reaches her mid thirties, a woman should know who she is and be comfortable with what kind of woman she is. Which would or at least it should equate to a confident woman with a secure level of self esteem and self worth.

3. Also by a woman's mid thirties, she should be knowledgeable of her body and what tickles her fancy. I mean Hell... if you don't know what gets you off. How do you expect anyone else too?

Some of you may disagree or even get a tad bit pissed off, but I'm gonna say it anyway.

A woman's orgasm is her responsibility!! Now I'm not saying men aren't needed, but fellas let's be honest. It makes your job so much easier and pleasurable when the woman knows and is in tune with her body. If you think about it. In a way it's linked with her confidence and confidence is a major turn on. Which brings me to my final point.

4. By the time a woman reaches her forties, she has had on average 6-9 sexual partners. No shade if your number is less or more. (Just my own estimate. No mass data was gathered. So calm the fuck down!) Anyway, back to my point. Oh yeah. So with those partners, she should have a very good idea of what she likes, how she likes it and not be timid to express it.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on this particular subject. I know their are women who are in mid life and have no clue as to what floats their boat. It could be for a number of reasons ranging from religion to lack of a supportive partner. But I say life is too damn short to be having horrible sex. Own who you are and never be ashamed of it.