Living in the Now

Living in the Now 

It was Lao Tzu who quoted,

"If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present."

While I'm sure a great deal of us, perusing on social media has come across this quote more than once. Maybe you've even commented on it, or at the very least hit the like or +1 button to show your agreeance. I know I have. But it also led me to wonder; how many of us are living by that principle? 

Now don't get me wrong. I know it's normal and practically imperative to think of the future. Especially once you've reached a certain age. Otherwise how else would you know where you're going, or where you'd like to be in say five to ten years from now? But there are some of us, who obsess over every little detail of the immediate future. Planning practically every minute of the day. That's no way to live, cause it just equates to constantly checking things off your 'to do list'. I ask you, where's the joy in that? Then that frustration of not getting everything done on your list for that day. Putting you behind schedule. Anxiety starting to set in and dictating your mood till you get caught up.  

Then there are those who constantly live in the past. Always reliving past pain or mistakes made. Everyone has good and bad memories. While there's absolutely nothing wrong with holding on to those memories, it's anything but healthy to let them rule your life. Cherish your good memories and as for the bad... well let those be your lessons. We've all had horrible things done to us and have done things that we're not so proud of. But you have to realize, those are things that has happened or things that you've done. They're not who you are. You and you alone have the power to be who you are and live how you'd like to live. 

So don't forget who you were. Make moves to get where you'd like to be. More than anything take the time to get to know and appreciate the beauty of who you are now. Otherwise it could be a missed opportunity to meet the most extraordinary person, in your life.

YOU! 

You're Pretty... for a Dark Girl

You're Pretty... for a Dark Girl.

Throughout my life, I've received compliments from men of different races. However there is one underhanded compliment that I've received and sadly from men of my own race. 

"You're pretty... for a dark girl"

I would venture a guess from experience that majority, if not all my fellow, beautiful dark sistas have been thrown this so-called compliment. As if we should take it like it's the best affirmation of our beauty, we will ever get. News flash! It's anything, but a compliment! Why not just say "I think you're pretty" and that be the end of the statement. Adding the "for a dark girl" is a slap in the face. 

Now I know the whole team light skinned vs team dark skin has been around since... forever. Our race being divided, as if one complexion is superior over the other. I can remember riding the bus in middle school on field trips and the girls cackling about who their "famous future husband" was going to be. Around that time Al B. Sure, Babyface, Prince, L.L. Cool J, El DeBarge and Allen Payne (the light skinned brotha from New Jack City) were the top contenders. Girls screaming who their pick was. Saying his name multiple times staking their claim. Boys had their version of the same game. Picking between Vanity, Appolonia, Paula Abdul and Janet Jackson. Dark skinned women and men were left out, as if we were the sooty stains of our race. 

Red bone, caramel, chocolate, dark chocolate. We are all beautiful and we are all in the same struggle. 

I thank my parents and my family for not making my complexion an issue. Thus teaching me that my beauty doesn't solely lie in the tone of my skin. I love the skin I'm in and apparently so does the sun. The sun loves it so much that it kisses it multiple times, just enriching my tone. So why can't my beautiful brothas love it, just as unconditionally?