A Letter From The Friendzone

Dear World,

It gets frustrating when most people think only guys get friendzoned. Guess what? Great girls, awesome wife material get friendzoned all the time. We know how it feels to be absolutely, out of our mind, loyal till death, in love with a guy. No matter how great we are, the guy seems to only see everything he ever wanted in a woman with anyone, except you. You can't understand why. You're always the one that's there for him, you two talk bout any and everything, you're the best of friends. His biggest cheerleader and see things in him that nobody else does. You can spend hours on the phone and still miss him once you hang up. Just when you think "Finally, he feels the same!" he meets someone else. Leaving you to feel like the butt of life's joke. 

No matter how smart, funny or how high your self-esteem is. Somehow he's the one you don't care how stupid you look to others on the outside looking in. Why? Cause he's the one whose had your heart from the start. You only want him to be happy, even if it's not with you. You only want the best for him. If only he'd realize that maybe, just maybe... you are the best for him. 

Yours truly,   

Another friendzoned casualty 

Why Am I Single?

Why Am I Single?

Why am I single? A question that does get thrown in my direction (thank goodness not excessively). Cause it's a question that I don't really have an answer for. Now this might sound like I'm boasting on myself, but at times there's nothing wrong with stating how awesome you are, so here it is. I'm a Damn good woman and I don't know why I'm single! Some may say that I'm too picky. They're welcome to their opinion but, I respectfully disagree. Do I have standards? Absolutely! Not materialistic standards, but intellectual and moral standards to say the least. I try not to let the question bother me. At least not often, cause I know my self worth isn't tied to any man. Buuuttttt... it would be nice to have a man that I'm head over heels for, who would love nothing more than to have me as his partner.

Unfortunately for a woman my age, having never been married and with a child; is viewed as what? Complicated! Seriously?!

So let me get this straight. An intelligent, gainfully employed, mature, no "baby daddy" drama, no daddy issues, loyal woman who can cook is complicated? Or is that a pathetically disguised "it'll be too Damn hard to run game on her" excuse?

Sometimes it feels like I'm past the expiration date on my love life. Don't get me wrong. I can still turn a head or two. I get "approached" with lines that may bring a smile to my face, yet somehow in the guys mind is supposed to magically part my thighs. I mean Damn! Does my age exclude me from gentlemanly courtship? As if I'm an old stale box of Cracker Jack with the prize long gone. 

I deserve to have a man that can look at me with forever in his eyes and with honorable intentions. A man that can remember why he loves me, when I'm behaving like a perfect storm. A man that see the beauty of my soul. Knowing my cons are far less than my pros. Without any doubts know that even when my opinion differs from his at times, my loyalty is never wavering. 

So if I'm single for knowing what I deserve and not settling for less. Single is what I will stay. 

Would You Date You?

Would You Date You?

It's funny how many dating and relationship articles and books are out there. Think about it. It's almost impossible to avoid coming across a magazine, book or social media link to an article, telling you the do's and don't's of romance. Now I know what you're thinking. "Aren't you doing the same thing?" Well... I guess I am. Oops!

But my question is. Among all the do's and don't's why haven't I seen the advice of get to know yourself, first? So many of us go from relationship to relationship with barely a break in between. Leaving bits and pieces of ourselves with the last beau. Picking away at ourselves, trying to fill a void with someone, anyone. When the void can only be filled by yourself. Take the time to rediscover yourself. Learn who you are by yourself. 

Now trust me. I know it can be scary, especially if you're used to always being in a relationship. But if you're constantly finding yourself in a string of unsuccessful relationships. Don't you think trying something different is in order? I mean Hey! Performing the same action over and over, but expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity. So how bout you regain your sanity. If you're willing to do for others, why not do something not only helpful, but healthy for yourself? 

So you're probably wondering, where do you start. For myself I started with the realization that being alone and being lonely are two very different things. There are so many things you can do by yourself, but most are terrified to try. Mainly because they're afraid how others would view them. For instance. I've gone to movies alone. Sat at a restaurant and ate dinner alone. I've even gone to a bar by myself. Not in attempt to meet anyone, but to enjoy myself. There's no rule that says you have to be coupled up to have a good time. I have to admit the first few times felt weird and I felt people were possibly judging me, but I figured to Hell with them. I'm doing this for me. Besides, if I don't like or wouldn't date myself, how could I expect anyone else to want too? If you do find yourself getting lonely. Well this is where your friends can help with that. 

Being single has given me the opportunity to find out who I am, heal and unpack some of my baggage. True, everyone will always have some baggage, but it's up to you how much you wanna carry. It's not fair to expect someone else to carry your baggage. So take some time. Cleanse your soul and find yourself, before you give the broken pieces of what's left of you to someone else.