Can you forgive... yourself?

Can you forgive... yourself?

Of all the many quotes we've all seen about forgiveness. One thing rings true. Forgiving someone is more for you, than the one who has wronged you. But what do you do, when you're having a difficult time forgiving yourself?

I, just like everyone else have been hurt or wronged by someone close to my heart. I can be quite forgiving... maybe not right away, but eventually forgiveness does come. Now, don't misunderstand me. Not by any means do I consider myself to be perfect. I've made my share of mistakes and have hurt people as well. Certainly not with any malicious intentions, cause I'm not that type of evil, toxic person. I own up to my mistakes and apologize for them. Eventhough the person I've wronged may have forgiven me. I always have the hardest time, forgiving myself. I'm talking the dramatic "I have dishonored my family, ready to fall on my sword" hard time. Go ahead, it's okay to laugh at it, I did.  

Majority of my life, I've been there for other's more than myself. Family, friends, boyfriends and even work. I'm what you would call a giver or caretaker. The one who people are comfortable to talk to and depend on. Pretty much anything I could do to help or be there for someone, I was. Even if I didn't necessarily want to do it, I did it anyway. I found it disappointing and I would kinda beat myself up when I couldn't. So hurting someone I loved or cared for, is devastating to me. 

I've done soul searching to try to figure this out and I come up with bupkis. I view it as one of my worst flaws. Is it something I can change? Perhaps. Only time and cognizant practice will tell. Till then, all I can do is learn from my mistakes and try not to repeat them.