What the Hell Happened to Dating?

What the Hell Happened to Dating?

In this day and age, it seems it's getting more difficult to find a mate. I like I'm sure a great deal of you wonder, "why is it so damn hard to find someone who wants to be with me and only me?" Am I right? 

Over the years, I've had questions pop in my mind that don't necessarily get answered. For me it seems like the answer to most of my questions is; the majority of us are not comfortable allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and be honest about what we truly want. We fear rejection. We've all been hurt a time or two... or more and with each instance of getting hurt, we become more guarded and jaded. We build up walls that we believe will protect us. Trust me! I recently had my heart ripped out and destroyed, by a man I was head over heels, more sure than I know 2+2=4, in love with and not only am I trying to heal and bounce back from it. I'm absolutely terrified to let someone else in! 

I often think about how patience has become a lost virtue. It's understandable with the world growing into a more rapid state, everyday. We're used to getting practically everything in a blink of an eye. We've been conditioned to not have to wait or put much effort into getting what we desire. It seems that way of thinking has gone into "dating" or finding love. Not many are willing to put in the effort or build a solid foundation it takes to have a lasting relationship. What happened to courting a lady or genuinely getting to know someone? Or not giving up on someone you claim to love, when you hit a rough patch? Love isn't easy, lust is and it seems a great deal are settling for lust. 

Men claim they want a lady, but a lady isn't easily won. Most give up pursuit, when she doesn't yield after a few compliments. Men are supposed to be natural hunters. A dedicated "hunter" finds no joy in a prey that's easily attained. What happened to having stimulating conversation, that doesn't involve talking about sex? When did getting to know how well a person gives head, become more important than getting to know what's inside their head? When did the measurements of my body exceed the importance of the measurements of my being a good person? Now I'm sure you're probably feel like I'm attacking the guys and perhaps I am a bit. However I don't place all the blame on men. Women have just as an equal part in this joke we call "dating". 

Ladies! A great deal of women make it difficult for men to express interest, without being called "thirsty". Also, we have got to stop settling for nonsense! Not all of us are guilty of this, just like not all men are guilty of being "dogs" or "playas". However the bad has grown more prevalent than the good. 

Look. I get that men are visual creatures and we want very much to be desired. However not all attention is good attention. It's all in the presentation. How do expect to find a man who wants to be with you long term, if you're presenting yourself like a woman displayed in a window working in Amsterdam's Red Light District? Being a woman is your gender, being a lady is a choice. Okay! I get it! You're proud of your body and that's great! But don't complain about the comments guys leave on the postings YOU put up, of yourself damn near naked. Or how those same guys just wanna fuck you or make you a side piece. Then bitch about how they're all the same. No! Your presentation is saying "My tits, pussy and ass is all I have to bring to the table". In the words of Dave Chappelle "You may not be a whore, but you're wearing a whore's uniform." 

I believe you can determine a person's intent, by the questions they ask. For example if majority of a guys questions posed to me center around sex and only sex. I can pretty much tell, that's all he wants from me. Sometimes we miss the signs, cause we're so into what we want. I like everyone else have made mistakes. I had to learn that cast in the right light, even a cubic zirconia can look like a diamond. 

Eventhough I have yet to find my Warrior King, I believe there are still some good men out there. Yes, it can be exhausting and at times I just wanna give up on the ideal of finding a mate. But I need a man! Not to complete me, but to compliment my life. 

Let's be honest. Whether it's for love, acceptance or just simply attention. We're all thirsty. But the first step in getting what we truly want is to be honest. Yes! It's easier said than done, but eventually the truth will come out. Also realize something like love is not easily won. It takes patience and you have to be willing to do the work.